Back again...

Hello Again!

 

Well I thought I would resurrect this old blog, as 1 year and  6months later of reaching desired target, I can feel those pounds creeping back on...

 

It has been quite a stressful year which has ended in relocating.  As this is a new start and beginning, I wanted to get back on track with healthy eating and exercise (hopefully I shall be back to where I want to be in time for the summer months).  I don't need to loose as much as I needed to previously but in this stressful season I have learnt some things about me.  Even though I lost 4 stone in weight, I still struggle with eating and maintaining my weight. I find it really hard.

 

1. When I am really sad, I loose my appetite and when I'm really stressed, I seek out food.

2. This comforting action means I like to eat and anything that happens in life, seems to be reason enough to treat myself.

3. I can't really control sweet/sugar type foods.  The more I eat the more I want/crave.

4. Drinking any alcohol, especially wine, will make me gain weight.  My body seems to forgive chocolate/takeaways but not drinking...

5. When I get motivated I can loose the weight, I can be strict with myself and task focused.

6. Once I have lost the weight, I am usually good at maintaining for a couple of weeks until either stressful situations come or I indulge in the sweet/sugar foods and then struggle to come off them.

7. I am the only one who cooks in our household, so a treat for me is not cooking ie. takeaway/eating out.  I really appreciate not thinking about cooking/prepping and planning meals.  I like not clearing up too!

8. Loosing fat (the pounds) is great but I still had flabby bits (as I needed to tone up too)

9. I also really enjoy food!

10. I really hate wasting food, infact I'd rather eat it, even if I'm not hungry, rather than throw it away.

 

If I knew how to solve my thinking then I guess I would have nothing to blog about! For now this seems to be an on-going project...

 

When I first lost weight, it was about being in a healthy BMI and to feel better about myself.  Whilst I still want to be in a healthy BMI range, I also want/would like my body to be fit and healthy.  I feel I need to develop my fitness and muscle tone too.  I need to learn good eating habits and I want to feel good about the way I look.  I am now in my thirties and as each decade approaches  metabolism slows down and you become more prone to gaining weight and losing muscle tone.  I do want to look after myself and I use my body all the time! (Meaning - looking after 4 children, in and out of different stressful situations all the time, really impacts on my energy/mood levels).  I need my body to be functioning and in good condition to do the job God has given me (which atm is parenting young children).

 

This blog is my journey, an account of reflections as I press on (i'd just like to point out I have no fitness/weight loss training etc, no science or Dr know-how about any of this). Now, will I get past week 1 :)

6+ months after goal

Well its been just over 6 months from when I reached target.  So what have I learnt so far..

1) I can survive on a lot less food than I ever thought possible - i ate too much!
2) Medication can really affect your weight - gain, loss and maintenance!

3) I have learnt that when times are stressful I turn to food and therefore it is really important for me to plan my meals to help me make good choices.

4) My past food choices have been based on feelings and cravings rather than what I need and fuel.  When your pregnant you're told to listen to what your body wants - i felt my body wanted fat and sugar - this is what I have eaten (i have been pregnant a lot so this mentality stuck with me).  I now realise that the more fat and sugar you eat, the more your body craves and is never satisfied.  Also that 'what my body wants' was more my mind wanting to be comforted - pregnancy is tough, and when i ate the food i enjoyed i felt happier.  This happiness however was temporary, so i would therefore need to keep doing it.  I believed and acted on a lie.

5) Even though I have lost the weight, it didn't come off where i wanted so I didn't end up looking quite as I would have liked.  I really had to weigh up whether my weight loss was for vanity or health.

6) Exercise and sports is so much easier when you're slimmer.

7) Eating badly makes you feel awful, healthier choices and less food actually make me feel more energetic
8) Drinking more water gives you energy and it doesn't taste as bad as i thought it did

9) Old habits can return quickly so i need to monitor what i eat.  I seem to be in a circle of obsessing about food or being very lax with my choices.  I am hoping that eventually this cycle will becomne less as i learn more about my body and what I need to do to keep it healthy.  That it will become more natural to me.
10) Losing the weight is just step 1 to dealing with food...

I am really pleased that I did the diet, i think it was the best approach for me.  I needed to wipe the slate clean and start again.  I am living a healthier lifestyle and although i still have treats (and over indulgent moments) I make better food choices now.

10 in 3

The loose 10lbs in 3 days diet.  Its called the chemical diet, as the foods you eat create a reaction to make you loose this amount of weight in this time - i think it may also be a variation of the British Heart Foundation diet.  Basically eat random foods and drop a few pounds.  I thought I'd try this and then see if the loss can be maintained afterwards.  I know this is a fad diet - not for long term use.

Day 1 - feeling motivated.  Breakfast included peanut butter - i hate this so much but as its the chemicals of the foods you are eating that makes the weight loss possible I will eat it (also very pleased this is the only day you eat it).  Peanut butter is so disgusting and dry that it quite happily put me off eating for the rest of the day! 

Well at the end of day one i do feel tired (more than usual) but its not been too bad.  I do have a horrible headache though.

Day 2 - feeling slightly less motivated but thankful that i don't have peanut butter for breakfast.  The foods do seem quite weird but drinking plenty of water.  I'm not feeling hungry however I have another horrible headache.  I think this may be down to the fact that you can't have tea (caffeine withdrawal).  I give in and have some tea, hoping it won't effect the diet too much.  Headache gone - the paracetamol had no effect so I think this has shown me I have been drinking far too much tea!  Jumped on scales, lost 2 pound, i don't think i will loose 8lb in one day...

Day 3 - feeling less motivated but at least some weight is coming off.  Today you eat the least and after the last meal i felt quite relieved that I had finished and pleased that I had stuck to it (bar the cup of tea).  I had a massive pile of ironing to do, so that kept me busy and stopped me thinking about food.

Day 4 - woke up in the morning, diet complete and it feels good! I went on the scale and have lost 6lbs in total! I am really pleased.  The rest of this week I think i will be drinking lots of water (2-3 cups of tea at the very most) and keeping my calorie intake about 1200-1500 to try and maintain weight loss.  I would still like to loose another 2lbs so hoping this may even be possible.  However if its just water loss (i have been keeping my fluids up during the diet for this reason) then i guess it will all come back.

The reason fad diets don't work, as I understand it is 1) impossible to maintain 2) because of the restrictions when you come off, you eat more as you feel you have missed out and give into your cravings 3) just water loss and not fat 4) you haven't learnt to eat healthily, used a quick fix so old eating habits return.  I am not naive, I know this is a fad diet I just wanted to try it as couldn't bear those extra pounds.  I thought i need a good kick up the bottom in getting my weight back under control and better to do it when I have a few pounds to loose rather than a couple of stones.

I am also using my fitness pal.  I record all the food i eat and it works out all the calories for me.  It suggests i eat a minimum of 1200 calories to achieve weight loss of 2lbs a week based on my height and weight.  I like this app as it even records and works out the calories to my home-made meals.  Although calorie counting is a bit boring at least you have freedom to eat what you fancy, its just limited in terms of portions. 

At the end of the week, I weighed myself and the weight loss has maintained.  I weighed myself each day and the weight did go up and even right down but after the week my weight has stabilised.  I am going to continue using my fitness pal to count up the calories of what I eat to help me learn portion control.  I have also come to the conclusion that my scales need replacing as they don't reset to zero properly and as a one off weigh in, my husband weighed 5 stone! When he weighed again he was back to his normal weight.  He was insisting scales don't lie but i think this is because he doesn't want to buy more scales!

In conclusion I think if i needed to, I would do the 3lbs in 10 days diet again.  It was a bit strange and I would need to cut back on the caffine before starting it but it wasn't too hard to follow and it does at least contain each food group.  I think with faulty scales its hard to determine how acurate the weight loss has been but i know that I now feel healthier by being mindful of what I am eating.

eye on the goal

Well for quite a few weeks i had been maintaining my weight.  Not quite the same weight i was when i lost it all but felt my body had found its right place.  So I decided to stop weighing myself regularly.  This was not a good step.

Gradually bad habits started to creep in, i think not having the discipline of the weigh in made me relax and not watch what i was eating.  I started to feel really lethargic and was constantly hungry again - nothing being able to satisfy my hunger.  I then stepped on the scales and too my horror i had put on 6lbs! I felt like i was sitting in a pool of fat and hated it.

There was no way I was going to have that, so i did the Special K diet for a couple of days.  I find this really hard (due to feeling hungry) but the gain was enough to kick me back into touch.  My body hated it and moaned out in pain but i just wasn't going to give in.  I had different commitments on during the week so it was hard to stick to the diet rigidly but i made sure i had less than 2000 calories a day.  At the end of the week i had lost 3lbs and felt better in control of my eating habits.

Now I have been thinking about what weight is best for me, as my original target I felt i looked a bit too thin in the face, so I was thinking 8st 9/10 would be a better weight.  I looked online at the various diets (I don't want to loose enough to join a slimming club like weight watchers) and I would rather have a few days of pain rather than weeks of misery.  So I thought I'd try the loose 10lbs in 3 days - I don't want to loose that much but thought its a faddy diet and if it does help to shift some pounds worth a try...

My next post will let you know how I got on...

A month later...

Well, as for most people Christmas season is a time of celebrating and feasting.  There were nights out, alcohol, family get togethers, Christmas eve meals, day meals, boxing day meals, the puddings, mince pies and treats, then the gifts of chocolate and wine...

We had a great time.  We made fond memories and feasted.  January hit and out came the running shoes.  I don't really think about diets until after my birthday in January as i find it really hard to be disciplined.  As being big for so long, January diet was just something I always did. 

Over this Christmas period I put on half a stone (yes i did have a good time) I think its part to do with my metabolism after diet, as well as, the food! I think that it was well timed.  My love for food came back as I enjoyed eating out and I became less worried over what was being put in my body.  After Christmas though I did feel very sluggish and I knew that the food I had eaten was perhaps not the best choice for my body.  It was good to be able to recognise what effect my choices had on my general well being. I looked forward to returning back to 'normal' eating habits.   I am now running when i can and although i weigh half a stone more, i have maintained this weight throughout January, with eating out and having birthday treats. 

I still find it weird accepting that I am no longer big.  I still need some more clothes to fill up my basic wardrobe and inside my head I'm still fat.  I think because the weight loss happened quickly its taking my brain a while to catch up - hence not really been out to buy clothes.  (also i hate sale shopping - i like having things cheaper just not being squashed by other shoppers or not having time to peruse) I am still in the healthy weight range, even with the extra holiday weight, but I still don't yet feel like me.  I think that perhaps my goal weight is perhaps too low for me as the weight comes off my face, rather than where I'd like it to come off (thighs please). 

I shop monthly and have a 2 week food menu that I use.  I'm not very good at just choosing sensibly when I'm hungry so the menu helps me make correct choices and stick to a shopping budget.  The food bible book helped me plan a good balanced diet, to try and fit in all the nutrients required ie 5 a day, carbs, dairy and protein.  Some days I have to be really strict with myself as I know old eating habits can easily return.  I tend not to eat after dinner and pudding.  I eat with the children at 4.30. As I do less activity in the evening and most of the running around during the day, it seems to work out better for me.  At the moment I am just trying to find my eating balance and be comfortable in my own skin. 

After the diet...

Well this is what I've been waiting for... real food!!

The first few days I found it really hard to know what to eat.  I could only eat small portions so I ate very little.  I really didn't want to put it all back on again or return to my old eating habits, I just felt a bit confused what to do.

Jon and I were blessed with a night away just the 2 of us, being us again, and I think this really helped me get re-acquainted with food.  No cooking - just eating out and champagne.  It is not something that happens often for Jon and I, so when it does we like to make the most of it.  I was worried, I'd be really worried about eating but surprisingly it was fine.  I couldn't actually eat a lot anyway.  I chose the low calories options from the menus and I didn't have room for pudding. It was such a treat just eating!  Foods not something to be scared of, its something we need to survive and God has given us taste buds to enjoy it.  I didn't feel guilty at all.  Whilst away I made sensible choices.

The first week off the diet, I'm afraid I didn't really stick to stage 4 like I had hoped.  Whilst away I was fairly controlled but when we came back it was really hard.  I had my wisdom tooth out and then came down with a horrible bug, which also coincided with my time of the month.  I didn't know what I wanted to eat but it would seem nothing healthy.  The more unhealthy stuff I ate the more I wanted.  I didn't feel like eating or cooking, so it was much easier to grab something quick ie chocolate than put time and effort in thinking about what to eat.  Also with Christmas just round the corner there was lots of accessible treats in the house.  I wasn't binging or over eating just making the wrong food choices.  I started to realise how quickly old eating habits could return.  I started to notice how I was looking to food to make me feel better.  I had enjoyed eating lovely food at the beginning of the week and was trying to re-create this in just eating treats during stressful situations.  I was being destructive, as I obviously didn't feel better (a bug just has to run its course) and actually eating healthily would have been far better.  In hindsight I should have planned my meals better so I  could make healthy choices.  Although you can't plan for being ill, I think some quick easy stock cupboard meals or frozen meals are a good thing to have just in case...

Once I realised my downfalls I planned our menu choices and did some healthy food shopping.  I have since made much better food choices.

Time for some new clothes

Through my weight loss - this is how I have coped wardrobe wise.  After I had L, I continued to wear my maternity clothes and bought a few key pieces that I could mix and match.  I knew I did not want to be this size so I got some basic pieces ie 2xlong skirts (as summer), leggings, some vests, longline tops and cardigans.  I made sure that they just fitted so I could get as much wear out of them for when I got smaller.  As the season changed I just added warmer cardigans/wore with boots etc.

As I lost weight, they fitted more comfortably and I would treat myself to a new top etc to mix it up.  As I got smaller, I fitted into my old fat clothes, then my pre-pregnancy clothes (at this point my key pieces were too big and were handed on) but my old wardrobe gave me lots of choices to wear.  As I lost more, most of my wardrobe was getting too big and now at the point of wearing belts with everything. 

My mother and sister are around my current weight so they have helped me out by giving me tops/coat etc they are no longer wearing.  I am now at the point where I need to buy some clothes that fit me - even my belts are getting ridiculously long where I make new holes.  I do appreciate that this is a great complaint to have! 

However its hard not to think of yourself as big, when for so long that was all I was aware of.  I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and couldn't quite believe those were my legs! I need to start dressing for the new on target me.  I have been out shopping but not yet found anything, I don't really like the current fashion.  Its not that I think its horrendous but its not really my personality or very flattering of my body shape. 

I think I will just have to concentrate on some correct fitting basics and slowly build upon them.  Typical though when you want to buy new clothes there seems to be nothing around!