A month later...

Well, as for most people Christmas season is a time of celebrating and feasting.  There were nights out, alcohol, family get togethers, Christmas eve meals, day meals, boxing day meals, the puddings, mince pies and treats, then the gifts of chocolate and wine...

We had a great time.  We made fond memories and feasted.  January hit and out came the running shoes.  I don't really think about diets until after my birthday in January as i find it really hard to be disciplined.  As being big for so long, January diet was just something I always did. 

Over this Christmas period I put on half a stone (yes i did have a good time) I think its part to do with my metabolism after diet, as well as, the food! I think that it was well timed.  My love for food came back as I enjoyed eating out and I became less worried over what was being put in my body.  After Christmas though I did feel very sluggish and I knew that the food I had eaten was perhaps not the best choice for my body.  It was good to be able to recognise what effect my choices had on my general well being. I looked forward to returning back to 'normal' eating habits.   I am now running when i can and although i weigh half a stone more, i have maintained this weight throughout January, with eating out and having birthday treats. 

I still find it weird accepting that I am no longer big.  I still need some more clothes to fill up my basic wardrobe and inside my head I'm still fat.  I think because the weight loss happened quickly its taking my brain a while to catch up - hence not really been out to buy clothes.  (also i hate sale shopping - i like having things cheaper just not being squashed by other shoppers or not having time to peruse) I am still in the healthy weight range, even with the extra holiday weight, but I still don't yet feel like me.  I think that perhaps my goal weight is perhaps too low for me as the weight comes off my face, rather than where I'd like it to come off (thighs please). 

I shop monthly and have a 2 week food menu that I use.  I'm not very good at just choosing sensibly when I'm hungry so the menu helps me make correct choices and stick to a shopping budget.  The food bible book helped me plan a good balanced diet, to try and fit in all the nutrients required ie 5 a day, carbs, dairy and protein.  Some days I have to be really strict with myself as I know old eating habits can easily return.  I tend not to eat after dinner and pudding.  I eat with the children at 4.30. As I do less activity in the evening and most of the running around during the day, it seems to work out better for me.  At the moment I am just trying to find my eating balance and be comfortable in my own skin. 

After the diet...

Well this is what I've been waiting for... real food!!

The first few days I found it really hard to know what to eat.  I could only eat small portions so I ate very little.  I really didn't want to put it all back on again or return to my old eating habits, I just felt a bit confused what to do.

Jon and I were blessed with a night away just the 2 of us, being us again, and I think this really helped me get re-acquainted with food.  No cooking - just eating out and champagne.  It is not something that happens often for Jon and I, so when it does we like to make the most of it.  I was worried, I'd be really worried about eating but surprisingly it was fine.  I couldn't actually eat a lot anyway.  I chose the low calories options from the menus and I didn't have room for pudding. It was such a treat just eating!  Foods not something to be scared of, its something we need to survive and God has given us taste buds to enjoy it.  I didn't feel guilty at all.  Whilst away I made sensible choices.

The first week off the diet, I'm afraid I didn't really stick to stage 4 like I had hoped.  Whilst away I was fairly controlled but when we came back it was really hard.  I had my wisdom tooth out and then came down with a horrible bug, which also coincided with my time of the month.  I didn't know what I wanted to eat but it would seem nothing healthy.  The more unhealthy stuff I ate the more I wanted.  I didn't feel like eating or cooking, so it was much easier to grab something quick ie chocolate than put time and effort in thinking about what to eat.  Also with Christmas just round the corner there was lots of accessible treats in the house.  I wasn't binging or over eating just making the wrong food choices.  I started to realise how quickly old eating habits could return.  I started to notice how I was looking to food to make me feel better.  I had enjoyed eating lovely food at the beginning of the week and was trying to re-create this in just eating treats during stressful situations.  I was being destructive, as I obviously didn't feel better (a bug just has to run its course) and actually eating healthily would have been far better.  In hindsight I should have planned my meals better so I  could make healthy choices.  Although you can't plan for being ill, I think some quick easy stock cupboard meals or frozen meals are a good thing to have just in case...

Once I realised my downfalls I planned our menu choices and did some healthy food shopping.  I have since made much better food choices.